Idag är det fu, fu i regnet!
Hey ho soldier, time to leave
Its a war inside, inside my mind.
Hey ho soldier time to shoot
Shoot right at me

Hatar mig själv just nu
jag är äcklig, fet
Just nu känner jag mig som världens fetknopp
som om ja bara äter
Vet att ja inte gör de, men känner mig så jävla äcklig och ful
Snälla ge mig ett ekorrhjul så ska jag springa tills ja spyr
Ge mig motivation, för fan vad jag vill bli fin
Men jag orkar inte, tappat luften och slutar andas.
Jag vill men orken till att slutföra tanken finns inte..
Snälla ge mig orken tillbaka, jag behöver den om ja inte ska rulla fram.......

Har man kommit hem från jobbet, handlat en massa mat, en lampa och lite annat
blev inte så dyrt som jag trodde gick typ sammanlagt på typ 1000kr o de är ju inte såå mycket för allt det jag fick.
Värsta glad blev jag iallafall. :)
Nu ska jag städa hela lägenheten så gott som det går utan dammsugare haha :P
Klar med badrummet sen igår, och nästan klar med köket. Så bara vardagsrummet och sovrummet kvar
mycket sköönt. Sen så ska jag laga mat tills pojken kommer hem.
Ska laga potatisgratäng med vitlök och tilol det får de bli rostbiff och grönsallad. Mums!
Dessvärre är jag jätte trött och han är hemma till sju tror ja.
så skulle hinna lägga mig o vila en timme men måste duscha innan han kommer oxå.
Och tända lite ljus och dona lite. Ååh bara längtar.
 
Så nu har jag 5 timmar och då ska jag hinna:

                      * Städa klart lägenheten
                      * Laga potatis gratäng + fixa sallad
                      * Duscha och göra mig fin
                      * Tända ljus
                      * Skriva en liten dikt

Gud vad barnsligt kär jag är i min man, för vet ni en sak han är bara min!

Uppe med tuppen känns det som, ska man snart ta bvussen in till stan för att jobba lite då
Skönt men samtidigt oskönt. Lovet ska bli fruktansvärt skönt, ska sova och plugga lite smått.
men mest sova!
Sitter o läser nyheterna och äter lite frukost nu blev yoghurt med start och iskaffe, mums!
nehe, dags att göra sig iordning nu, tror bussen gick vid tjugo över sju..

baah.. men men.

Idag blir det storhandling, lamphandling och lite annat smått o gott :)

The road is taking me forward, together with you

Måste skriva mitt jäkla samhällsarbete nu som ska vara inne imorn, shit vad kasst de går
får nog vara glad om ja ens klarar G.. denna kursen är så himla svår.
Tänk igenom en gång till innan ni läser Samhäll C på Enskilda, den kursen är sjukt svår...
Eller ja den är nog lika svår överallt men just nu känns den tokigt svår här..
men aa.. Do your best I think..

Var på stan förut idag och köpte mig en ny lila klänning och sen med ett bälte att ha under brösten, bilder kommer nog imorn förmodligen. :) Den var riktigt snygg tyckte jag.
I eftermiddag har ja ny körlektion, min förra gick bra men fan vad trafik det var vid tessin klockan 16.00 en måndag.. usch vad ja inte gillade den tiden ska jag säga.. nej nu är de bättre. Ska träna backa, parkera och backa runt hörn tror ja.
men behöver verkligen börja övningsköra mer hemma för känns som att man betalar massa onödiga pengar för att repetera om massor på kör skolan bara. O de e ju kasst.
Men ska sova hos pappa hela helgen så blir förhoppningsvis att köra lite då,
sen ska jag fixa till lägenheten lördag kväll och sen på söndag eftermiddag med. Det kommer bli så nice.
Hoppas de blir omtyckt bara. . .

Time to work with the fucking social science, It will be my death soon

 1 Månad igår

Gå bredvid mig, jag vill ha dig nära
Gå bakom mig, jag vill att du vaktar
Gå framför mig, jag vill se dig
Jag vill ha dig så nära, så nära som det bara går
Vill se dig där jag är, där du är.

We have to change

We make promises all the time, like it was so easy. I promise you, your secret will be safe with me. Yeah right! How often does that work?

 The dust has already begun to fall. We're too blind, we think that everyone means well, that all people are true but guess what they're not. What is a promise, and why is it so easy to break them? I haven't met anyone who has kept a promise to me, is it because everyone are liars or is it my demands that are too high? Why can't anyone tell the truth for once, why do everyone have to lie in my face? And is it true that we all are the same; are we all really a like?

          Have you ever wondered why we all are here? If we all go away in the end, then what's the point in teaching and learning? And what's the point in being true? If we all lie, you know those fake smiles, happy faces, pretty clothes and always being good girls and boys. No wait we are lying. People always lie. That's a new historical rule. Then why am I wondering about it, is it because I want to change it or in fact that I still believe in people having good sides?

No I won't believe in a person again. Because they all lie when they tell you "I will stay by your side forever". But don't you know, every person goes away in the end? You know, people always leave.

          The people in our society are so egocentric and selfish, and you can't run and control a world on greed, right? Soon the world will fall apart if we can't control ourselves. We pollute the environment and throw our elderly in trashcans, or put them in day cares where they are supposed to take care of them but they don't. All they do is to feed them and give them medicines, what has happened with real love and nursing? Someday you'll be there too, do you really want to be treated as some random figure? I would like to be handled by loving people who like to take care of me. If you think about it, it's your last time on earth don't you want to be comfortable and have a nice feeling of warmth inside? I would. Is it so egocentric to say that you want it to be good when your last day is here? Who is the judge to say this isn't right? How will you know?

          Why do we spend all our money in materialistic things, instead of helping other human beings in the world with their health or build houses for those who are homeless? No one seems to care about real things, real people and real feelings any more. Everyone are to busy leading their own lives that they forget everyone that they care about. But don't you know you can't live alone? No man is an island. I have a big fear in my life and that is new people but recently I've learned a new expression "face the fear and do it anyway". Cause really that's what life's about, facing problems and learning how to solve them. And sometimes you can't solve them, and then you just need to cope with it and accept the fact. Otherwise you will get stuck. You have to pull yourself together so you have the strength to help other people who aren't that strong. In that way we can live together as one big united power, one big united world instead of fighting wars and killing each other. Is that too much to ask for?

          Think about it, all day long you have an inner battle with yourself about everything. What clothes am I going to wear today, what will everyone around me think, will I say the right things now, and am I a fool even thinking about it? Think about it wouldn't it be nice to have a quiet afternoon where you don't have to argue with everyone else too, just to have one day were you maybe just argue with yourself (‘cause that's pretty hard to avoid) but just have one battle instead of many. I don't think the world needs more suffering right know, so can't we all be and friends at least do so people don't have to live in a war zone anymore. Do you think the children in the third world would like to be put in military camps and hold a machine gun when they are five or six years old and then learn how to shoot someone the best? Did you know that the first thing they have to "take-care-of" is to shoot their parents? How terrible isn't that?

The children is the future of the world, how do they plan when the first thing they do is to break them apart and make them suffer as in hell. The kids who are assaulted in this way learn that violence feeds on violence and that blood needs blood. They learn about disrespect and that honour and kindness is overrated. Don't the people in today's society have any sense or have I missed something?

          Everything is so weird right now, like you have to have guards all around the city. And girls are afraid of walking outside at night in case they have the chance to get raped. I think it's sad that they even have to think about it. Soon we'll have barbed fences around schools and day-cares. Why can't we live in a safe environment instead of developing more things to be scared of? The world is getting smaller and smaller each day. Soon there'll be illegal just to go outside. And the police have to shop for you. How crazy wouldn't that be?

We need to live too, we can't have so many rules and law to pursue all the time. I'm not saying to skip the rules and screw the laws, no I'm just saying if you're going to have rules and laws make them easy to follow then maybe someone would try to obey them.

          This text or whatever you would call it isn't made for being totally against the society and don't mean that we should make a revolution. No! This story is my way of seeing things from my perspective of a world that is coming down soon. I want to open all of your eyes and tell you to think a little bit extra next time you judge something or throw paper on the ground when you're out walking. This is the only world we got, and our only lifetime. If you will change something, do it now! Don't wait ‘til tomorrow. Be the change you want to see.